The First Precious Moment I ever received was from My Dad, the one that is called Make a Joyful Noise, like the one shown below.

We interrupt normal Blog Programming in honor of a Special Day, for a Special Man. I'm sure you understand, but I just can't let this day go by as if it were like any other. Actually, I began blogging shortly after the saddest event of my life, as a sort of outlet and a chance to focus on something positive. In a round about way, this sad event comes back full circle to the blog.

This is a bittersweet day for me. I have my husband to be thankful for, as he is the loving father of my children, and a very supportive husband to me, but I will always feel a sense of loss on this day. It does not seem sufficient to simply call it a 'sense', as it is an utter profoundly real feeling of grief and sorrow. My father unexpectedly died the night before Thanksgiving, last year. So this is my first Father's Day ever without my Father. It was a heart attack, and there was nothing to be done. He was not old at 59, nor was he young. He was plagued by different ailments such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but no one expects the sudden shock of losing someone so dear to you, without being affected by this for the rest of one's life.

The disbelief and the sorrow are the first feelings I had when I got the news.. a moment that is forever burned into my soul that I wish I could seal away forever, complete with its feeling of continued punches to the gut.. That moment of unimaginable disappointment, the regret of not speaking with my dad that day, that complete desolation that still at six months later does not get any better when I selfishly think of all I and others have lost. But I have to think of the spirit of my father, and knowing that he is indeed happy where he is now, at peace, I have to share him with God. I have to come to terms with the reality that no, he will not see his grandchildren grow and prosper; he will not physically feel the hugs and kisses from those he left behind. I have to remind myself as the lump in my throat gets bigger and harder to manage, that my father is watching us now and loving us with all of his newfound strength. I tell myself that he must be watching from above as my daughter brings home her final First grade report card, and he is giving her angel kisses as he congratulates her on her straight A+'s.

I remember that growing up, I persevered in my schooling specifically for my father, for him that I admired so much; he was learned in all things and inspired my own quest for learning. He gave me his approval, he shared his love for words, both English and French, and would leave me inspiring notes in the morning before school addressed to "ma cherie" and other sentiments. He would sneak in a little extra mad money he called it, and he would come home from work with a little extra something he picked up along the way. I was always Daddy's Little Girl, and enjoyed holding his hand in the grocery store even when we both knew I was too old to do so. He would expect perfection, accept less, and love me either way. He gave me a sense of self, taught me to be stubborn, and instilled a desire to be better in all things. He seemed all-powerful, and I did not see him shed a tear until he lost his own father, when I was 12. I remember early one morning hearing him crying, and me asking him if he was okay. He did not mean to wake me, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. I did not know what to do to comfort him but to rub his back. Perhaps he is doing the same for me, now, as I cry for the loss of him. Another time he cried was when my first-born made her way into this crazy world, and I could feel his love and approval, and his rapture for the accomplishment that he knew was mine.

He once wrote to me, "No man can possibly know what life means, what the world means, what anything means, until he has a daughter and loves her. And then his whole life, his whole universe, changes and nothing will ever again seem exactly as it seemed before. And so it is with you." And so it is with you, too, Dad. He later wrote, "No matter how difficult life may seem at times, you have within you the love, the power, the ability, and the knowledge to make things better. You are special. I hope you know that though we will not always be together, I am always here to love you."

My dad was a great man, who dedicated himself to his career after he left the Air Force where he served during Vietnam. He stayed with the Suffolk County Police Department for 32 years, and reached the highest level of the Communications Department as Supervisor of Technical Services and Police Communications Systems Director. He was posthumously awarded with The Commissioner's Career Achievement Award. Congrats, Dad, you earned it!
"For over 32 years, Mr. Gardner was instrumental in developing and supporting
numerous improvements to the communication systems of the Police Department,
F.R.E.S., and other county agencies."

One of the poems that my father and I shared together and were in awe over together was by Dylan Thomas. Little did I know the significance of this poem until the moment he left this earth.
Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

love you Dad, forever and ever more. I will miss you always, but will persevere, for you. -- your little girl.

Dad, your love will last me an eternity, and I am fueled by your inner strength. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, and making me want to be a better person.

I hope everyone out there enjoys this special day if they still have a father figure to honor, and uses it wisely!

Sponsored by "Breaking the Spine". This week's pre-publication "can't-wait-to-read" selection is:
Between Two Queens (The second book in the Secrets of the Tudor Court series) A novel by Kate Emerson
Coming January 2010
Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: Pocket Books
ISBN-10: 1416583270


Emerson returns to the Tudor Court in Between Two Queens. Nan Bassett's goal to marry a nobleman is halted when she falls for handsome but poor Ned.

http://www.kateemersonhistoricals.com/

I really enjoyed the first book that she wrote; I had devoured it in a weekend. See my review here.

TEASER TUESDAYS is hosted by ShouldBeReading and asks you to:
♠Grab your current read.
♠Let the book fall open to a random page.
♠Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page.
♠You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!
♠Please avoid spoilers!

I am reading Twilight of Avalon, by Anna Elliott; page 106:

"I know. I saw him killed. I watched him die."

Isolde was distantly aware of Hedda's sharp gasp, but the remnants of the vision were gathering and forming before her once more, and the sound seemed to come from a long way off.

I am thoroughly relaxing and enjoying this book. Wonderful!

As Serafina rails against her incarceration, others are drawn into the drama: the ancient, mysterious Suora Magdalena–with her history of visions and ecstasies–locked in her cell; the ferociously devout novice mistress Suora Umiliana, who comes to see in the postulant a way to extend her influence; and, watching it all, the abbess, Madonna Chiara, a woman as fluent in politics as she is in prayer. As disorder and rebellion mount, it is the abbess’s job to keep the convent stable while, outside its walls, the dictates of the Counter-Reformation begin to purge the Catholic Church and impose on the nunneries a regime of terrible oppression."

"Gifts of War" by Mackenzie Ford from Random House

"During the Christmas Truce of 1914, Hal Montgomery, a British soldier, is given a photo by a German soldier, Wilhelm Wetzlar, and they make a pact. Hal promises to find his enemy’s English girlfriend, Sam, and let her know her fiancé is alive and thinking of her. Several weeks later, Hal—now injured—is discharged from the army and goes to Stratford on Avon to fulfill his promise. But things take an unexpected turn when he meets the woman in the photo and falls in love with her himself. As their romance blossoms, Sam shares with Hal her most private confidence: Her newborn son is of German lineage, information that threatens her reputation and her job as a schoolteacher. Fearful that he will lose Sam, Hal holds tight to the secret–and the photograph–that brought them together.

The scene shifts to London, where Hal becomes involved with military intelligence and is introduced to Sam’s sisters and a different kind of secrecy. Against the broader landscape of England in wartime, Gifts of War captures the era and the fates of men and women caught in the sweep of history. A vivid tale of romance, adventure, and intrigue, the novel is a remarkable narrative that explores what made War World I so tragic, so revolutionary, and so exciting. It also announces a gifted new novelist."
And I stopped by my local used bookstore, Roma's Preread Books, and bought all the following for $12.00:

"The Poe Shadow" by Matthew Pearl "A compelling thriller centered on the mysterious end of Edgar Allan Poe, who perished in Baltimore in 1849. Poe's ignominious funeral catches the notice of Quentin Clark, a young, idealistic attorney, who finds himself obsessed with rescuing Poe's reputation amid rumors that the writer died from an excess of drink. Clark's preoccupation soon becomes all-consuming, imperiling his practice and his engagement, especially after he learns that Poe's legendary master sleuth, the Chevalier Auguste Dupin, was modeled after a real person."

By Victoria Holt (aka Jean Plaidy), when I saw that they had all these, I couldn't pass it up:
The Landower Legacy
The Black Opal
The Silk Vendetta
The Road to Paradise Island
The Demon Lover
The Curse of The Kings

I got some great books, I am looking forward to them! What book did you get that you are really looking forward to? I am looking forward to Dunant's and Margaret Barnes the most!

And FYI, I still have last week's Perseverance book to giveaway, and also Perfection. The other two giveaways on the sidebar are still open as well.

"What is the Sunday Salon? Imagine some university library's vast reading room. It's filled with people--students and faculty and strangers who've wandered in. They're seated at great oaken desks, books piled all around them, and they're all feverishly reading and jotting notes in their leather-bound journals as they go. Later they'll mill around the open dictionaries and compare their thoughts on the afternoon's literary intake...."

Hello my blogger buds. Welcome to today's Sunday Salon.. where we talk about books. And blogs, and stuff.

I've gotten a couple more awards for which I thank everyone for mentioning me. Thanks to Zia of My Life in not so Many Words for the Lemonade Award. Ladybug from Escape in a Book honored me with the Proximity Award again, thank you! I also received 2nd Place in the Paperbackswap contest, so I put up a little extra Giveaway when I announced the good news, see that here.

This week was a crazy week at work and it's going to get crazier, I don't even want to think about it.. but I bring this up because I haven't even been able to concentrate on reading!! I have been trying to read My Lord John by Georgette Heyer for a full week now, and I am just tired of it. I love Heyer, and I love the medieval era. The two of them together is just not a good mix. I would really like to put this one down. Kinda like putting an animal out of its misery. A very bad analogy, but you get the point: this is not something that I want to do but I feel I have spent enough time plodding through it. Reading is supposed to be enjoyable, and to feel so dissatisfied with this book just misses the point.

So what happens when a publisher sends you a book that you read and dislike? What are your thoughts on this, & if this has not happened to you yet, what would you do? I feel like I have adequately given this book a chance to redeem itself, especially after hours of my time were spent on it. I have read enough of it that I feel qualified to give a review, even though the expectation of a review is that the reader has completed the book. I still have 100 pages to go, but this is a 430 page book.

On another note, I found out that my library is hosting Mary DeMuth in August. Mary DeMuth is the author of the recent novel, "Daisy Chain" and she has also written the novels "Watching the Tree Limbs", "Wishing on Dandelions" as well as inspirational books published by Zondervan, a division of Harper Collins. The Defiance Texas Trilogy began with Daisy Chain and the second installment is A Slow Burn to be released in October.

She has three more books coming this year. This busy lady also thrives on speaking about her faith in God as she tries to help others, and she inspires others with her ideas on the publishing industry to novice writers. Mary also lives in my hometown which is fun for me! This time she will be speaking on the topic of "So How Do I Get Published?" and I am hoping that you would be interested in watching a video of the presentation. I am going to attempt to upload it to the blog so that Mary gets a wider audience for her words of wisdom. Have you read any of her books?

Product Description: "The imprisonment and execution of Queen Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII's second wife, in May 1536 was unprecedented in the annals of English history. It was sensational in its day, and has exerted endless fascination over the minds of historians, novelists, dramatists, poets, artists and film-makers ever since. Anne was imprisoned in the Tower of London on 2 May 1536, and tried and found guilty of high treason on 15 May. Her supposed crimes included adultery with five men, one her own brother, and plotting the King's death. She was executed on 19 May 1536.
Mystery surrounds the circumstances leading up to her arrest. Was it Henry VIII who, estranged from Anne, instructed Master Secretary Thomas Cromwell to fabricate evidence to get rid of her so that he could marry Jane Seymour? Or did Cromwell, for reasons of his own, construct a case against Anne and her faction, and then present compelling evidence before the King? Following the coronation of her daughter Elizabeth I as queen, Anne was venerated as a martyr and heroine of the English Reformation. Over the centuries, Anne has inspired many artistic and cultural works and, as a result, has remained ever-present in England's popular memory.
In her impressive new book, Alison Weir has woven a detailed and intricate portrait of the last days of one of the most influential and important figures in English history."

While this is not just another biography of Anne herself, this focuses on the politics behind the trial of Anne, Anne's last days in imprisonment, and thus the execution. At 384 pages on the US version, this has got to be quite an intricate look at the devices behind the event. Too bad it wasn't released for the May 19th execution date, which would have been fitting. Anne was not the only one executed as a result of the adultery charges and this is a very tragic story which fascinates me still. I wonder what information will be shared about Jane Boleyn, Lady Rochford.

I still have several of Alison Weir's books to read that sit patiently on my shelf. I have read her "Wars of The Roses", "The Princes in the Tower" and the fictional "Innocent Traitor" about Jane Grey, which I really enjoyed although it seemed to receive mixed reviews. Still need to read "The Life of Elizabeth I", and the fictional "The Lady Elizabeth", "Queen Isabella: Treachery and Adultery" and I would like to also purchase the one on Katherine Swynford, John of Gaunt's mistress turned wife. Alison is working on Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine fictional book now for 2010, and also has contracted for a sequel to "The Lady Elizabeth".

TEASER TUESDAYS is hosted by ShouldBeReading and asks you to:
♠Grab your current read.
♠Let the book fall open to a random page.
♠Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page.
♠You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!
♠Please avoid spoilers!

I am reading My Lord John by Georgette Heyer.
From page 93:

"He {John} said: 'She told me not to mourn when she came to her last end, for she had lived overlong, and cared not how soon God called her. She said that times had changed, an in no wise for the better. And she said also that she marvelled that a son of the Lord Edward, the Black Prince-'

'Stint, stint, my lord' begged his shocked tutor.

'Well, that is what she said,' insisted John."

Ok so I cheated a little a lot. I just loved this endearing conversation about the young Lord John's reaction to the death of his guardian.

Page 19:
"One matter stood out most of all - one matter that would make the biggest difference in their point of view and would so profoundly impact me that it could be argued as the defining period of my life, even though it was my parents' issue, and even though it happened some time before I was born. That matter was my brother, Alexander."

Amazingly, she escapes her parents and begins to live her life, yet how much can she take from a mother that won't let go even as Irene becomes an adult? What are the long-term effects of mental and physical abuse when the abused becomes an adult? And when Irene gets married, she wonders did she just marry another domineering figure to control her? Irene tells us how she endures the shame and anxiety of growing up in a dysfunctional family, and finally how she coped with it. How Irene was even able to write of her childhood memories and go through it all again is a triumph. I would have assumed the classic reaction would be to block it all out. What is heart wrenching is how Irene remembers simple things like a comment from her mother that Irene's 'tummy sticks out'. Three words that went a long way to fester Irene's hatred for her mom. Or it could have been: (page 81) "As I lay on my bedroom floor in a panic, that was the hour. It was the hour, at nine years old, when I knew I must get away for real. Mom left no question about whether she was my protector or my controller. The sooner I could leave home, the better it would be."

This revised edition of The Sitting Swing has the byline "Finding Wisdom to Know the Difference", referring to the popular saying by Reinhold Niebuhr: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." How many times have you muttered that to yourself? Irene is attempting to break the mold of the self-help genre to tell us her own inspiring personal story which really must have been extremely difficult, and is sharing her new-found strength with the average reader to remind us that it is never too late to heal.

"What is the Sunday Salon? Imagine some university library's vast reading room. It's filled with people--students and faculty and strangers who've wandered in. They're seated at great oaken desks, books piled all around them, and they're all feverishly reading and jotting notes in their leather-bound journals as they go. Later they'll mill around the open dictionaries and compare their thoughts on the afternoon's literary intake...."

Hello my blogger buds. Welcome to today's Sunday Salon.. where we talk about books. And blogs, and stuff.

So if you have had a chance to read your favorite blogs this week, you know that there is a little blog controversy brewing.. Lit bloggers (so-called wave 1 blogs) vs. the socially active book blogger (Wave 2 blogs)... and well.. are you confused already? The controversy started all because there was a Book Blogger panel at The Book Expo America in NYC last weekend.
Hmm. So apparently the Wave 1 blogger didn't like the panelists selected to be a part of the Book Blogger Panel because the all powerful mighty Wave 1 blogger never heard of any of them. And then of course because she doesn't know anything about them she goes about attacking their point of view. And then she assumes she knows what book bloggers in general are ALL ABOUT period.

Do you know what I'm all about?? No you don't. Because this blog is an evolution in general. I don't know what I am going to write next. I don't what I'm going to read next. So I am not a blog you can classify me as. I am GENERAL. YAY. I'd prefer to NOT be classified, because I am going to read a Historical fiction book one day, then I am going to do a silly meme the next, then I'm going read a chick lit book.. you get my drift.. OH And I MUST say that I do not read just Advance Readers copies, I don't read just new releases, I do not read just one genre. I accept ARC's, I visit my library, I purchase books online, I purchase books at my local used bookstore, I swap books via Paperbackswap...oh, I win giveaways too.. Does that NOT make me qualified as a "critical' "professional" book blogger? Yep. Because I am not here to be critical. I am not here to be professional. I am not comfortable being classified even as a Wave 2 blogger. I am not comfortable being classified. In reference to this blog, I am a book blogger, that's all there is to it.

In response to another post I had written before a WHY I BLOG post. Just in case you still had questions, that can be found here. Simply put, I blog because I enjoy the social interaction between readers. Sure I would love to have a worldwide fantastic audience. But I am not going to look at how many subscriptions I have, or how many hits I have a day.. because if I have a comment on a post I am happy for the interaction. If someone comments on my review, I am happy. If an author comes by to visit because I'm doing a blog tour, that's extra special too. But because it has been asked let me say that I looked when I set up my Blog Patrol button at the end of my blog, and since its installment on March 23rd I have had 3,653 hits to date as I write this post. What does that mean in reality? You decide. I just like watching the numbers increase.

There are too many people trying to classify a bulk of us into one thing, and everyone is trying to get a handle on what is pretty much a social evolution with the future of technology and how it all melds into the literary worlds of publishers, authors and readers. I am venturing a guess of thousands of Bookish Blogs out there... THOUSANDS of people simply cannot be classed into anything other but one thing: BOOK BLOGGER. Why is that so hard to stick to? Why do we have to further promote disintegration of social acceptance by attempting to divide us?

OK so if you have NOT read all the hub-bub and have no idea why I am venting (again)
Here are the Links that I've visited where some of this came from:

A Book Publicity something is here with lots of comments
Colleen at Chasing Ray posted her thoughts on the BEA Panel
My Friend Amy then responded to those thoughts
A Novel Menagerie attempts to make sense of the controversy gets caught in the middle when she was just trying to make some sort of sense in the mayhem..

And then apparently there was some 'real-time' twitter discussion Friday night, which I can never keep up with.
Ok so enough of all that.. I posted my comments there as well of course because I love to kvetch. And this is probably all old news to everyone so I apologize if I'm bringing up bad memories :) I love everyone I've come across through my blog, and I really treasure your thoughts and comments that you all have given me.

**
Some of you may remember from previous mentions that I've felt like royal poo poo lately. For almost two months I've had strange stomach pains, and I finally relented and went to the doctor and he confirmed that I have Gastritis, an inflammation of the stomach lining. So now I have Nexium and let's hope it kicks in. The symptoms for me also cause nausea so I was getting pretty sick of feeling sick, and half of the reason or more behind it is STRESS due to NY Family members. But enough of that crapola they don't deserve the mention even on my fabulous blog. So that's mystery solved, and I also have very high cholesterol, thank YOU McDonald's, Taco Bueno, and both sides of the genetic ladder. At some point I'll read something productive that tells me how to combat that. But I doubt it.

**
Today is the last day of The Twitter Background Contest. I entered simply because I want more books, the winner gets 25 credits to Paperbackswap!! Isn't that awesome? Since I am not some awesome graphic designer with training or resources, I am not doing so well.. so I am begging you all to have mercy on a fellow book blogger and take this opportunity to vote for me.
Click this link, and select the 5th star.. that's all :)
I know that some of you already voted, and thank you for that, really appreciate it! If you haven't voted, hurry and go do it because it ends today.

As a final effort to get many more 5 star votes, if I win the First Prize in that contest (you guys gotta get people to vote.. do a blast Email to your entire address book, tweet it, blog it etc.).. If I win the First Prize- of which there are 2- I will do a giveaway immediately of all the books listed in the poll on the right in the green, plus I'll throw in another three so it'll be an even ten winners for a giveaway from me at The Burton Review to you. The book to be released in August, "Of Bees and Mist" by Erick Setiawan will be one of the additional ones to add to the giveaway.

This is the last chance folks, so do it now! As soon as I find out the results of the contest, I will post it on my blog. Fingers crossed!!

**
OK on to the meaning of the true Sunday Salon; I have read via the Barnes & Nobles First Look Program, Of Bees and Mist, by Erick Setiawan. Awesome book, my review will post this coming week. I also reviewed a crime novel The Osiris Alliance by TV News Anchor and debut author, Jack Ford.

I've got another giveaway coming courtesy of Irene Watson of Reader Views.. she is touring her book The Sitting Swing that she wrote in 2005 and has done a revision on. I enjoyed the book and will be giving away an autographed copy on June 8th, so come back and visit me then and hear her inspiring story.

I have just begun Georgette Heyer's chunkster/tome My Lord John courtesy of Sourcebooks, and it is going to be awhile! Lots of people to discern, tons of titles of lords and ladies and it always confusing when reading about England's Medieval times, with the different political factions within families. So I am going to take it slow and google names and all that fun stuff so I can understand what the heck is going on. I also have to be able to concentrate, and well.. that happens about a half hour before bed and I fall asleep. So yep, this is going to set me back as it lulls me to sleep. But I am determined to enjoy it at least during lunch breaks. I hope it meets up to my expectations, I can't tell if it will or not.

And I hope you enjoy your book adventures this week also. What have you read this week?