Could following the opportunity of a lifetime cost them the love of their lives?
One of the many immigrants struggling to survive in 1850s New York, Elise Neumann knows she must take action to care for her younger sisters. She finds a glimmer of hope when the New York Children's Aid Society starts sending skilled workers to burgeoning towns out west. But the promise of the society's orphan trains is not all that it seems.
Born into elite New York society, Thornton Quincy possesses everything except the ability to step out from his brother's shadow. When their ailing father puts forth a unique challenge to determine who will inherit his railroad-building empire, Thornton finally sees his chance. The conditions to win? Be the first to build a sustainable community along the Illinois Central Railroad and find a suitable wife.
Thrown together against all odds, Elise and Thornton couldn't be from more different worlds. The spark that ignites between them is undeniable, but how can they let it grow when that means forfeiting everything they've been working toward?

Will the mistakes of their past cost them a chance at love?
Determined to find her lost younger sister, Marianne Neumann takes a job as a placing agent with the Children's Aid Society in 1858 New York. She not only hopes to offer children a better life, but prays she'll be able to discover whether Sophie ended up leaving the city on an orphan train so they can finally be reunited.
Andrew Brady, her fellow agent on her first placing-out trip, is a former schoolteacher who has an easy way with children, firm but tender and friendly. Underneath his charm and handsome looks, though, seems to linger a grief that won't go away--and a secret from his past that he keeps hidden.

As the two team up, placing orphans in the small railroad towns of Illinois, they find themselves growing ever closer . . . until a shocking tragedy threatens to upend all their work and change one of their lives forever. 

Naive Irish lass goes to New York and lands right in the middle of Irish political fanatics!

The Thrill of Romantic Suspense Meets the Romance of 1800s America
Lured by a handful of scribbled words across a faded letter, Cara Hamilton sets off from 1896 Ireland on a quest to find the brother she'd thought dead. Her search lands her in America, amidst a houseful of strangers and one man who claims to be a friend--Rourke Walsh.

Despite her brother's warning, Cara decides to trust Rourke and reveals the truth about her purpose in America. But he is not who he claims to be, and as rumors begin to circulate about an underground group of dangerous revolutionaries, Cara's desperation grows. Her questions lead her ever closer to her brother, but they also bring her closer to destruction as Rourke's true intentions come to light.

Ana Kavanagh’s only memories of home are of fire and pain. As a girl she was the only survivor of a terrible blaze, and years later she still struggles with her anger at God for letting it happen.
At a nearby parish she meets and finds a kindred spirit in Eoghan Hamilton, who is struggling with his own anger–his sister, Cara, betrayed him by falling in love with one of his enemies. Cast aside by everyone, Eoghan longs to rejoin the Fenians, a shadowy organization pushing for change back in Ireland. But gaining their trust requires doing some favors–all of which seem to lead back to Ana. Who is she and who is searching for her? As dark secrets from Ana’s past begin to come to light, Eoghan must choose which road to follow–and where to finally place his trust.

A sophisticated and entertaining debut novel about an irresistible young woman with an uncommon sense of purpose.


Set in New York City in 1938, Rules of Civility tells the story of a watershed year in the life of an uncompromising twenty-five-year- old named Katey Kontent. Armed with little more than a formidable intellect, a bracing wit, and her own brand of cool nerve, Katey embarks on a journey from a Wall Street secretarial pool through the upper echelons of New York society in search of a brighter future.

The story opens on New Year's Eve in a Greenwich Village jazz bar, where Katey and her boardinghouse roommate Eve happen to meet Tinker Grey, a handsome banker with royal blue eyes and a ready smile. This chance encounter and its startling consequences cast Katey off her current course, but end up providing her unexpected access to the rarified offices of Conde Nast and a glittering new social circle. Befriended in turn by a shy, principled multimillionaire, an Upper East Side ne'er-do-well, and a single-minded widow who is ahead of her times, Katey has the chance to experience first hand the poise secured by wealth and station, but also the aspirations, envy, disloyalty, and desires that reside just below the surface. Even as she waits for circumstances to bring Tinker back into her orbit, she will learn how individual choices become the means by which life crystallizes loss.

Elegant and captivating, Rules of Civility turns a Jamesian eye on how spur of the moment decisions define life for decades to come. A love letter to a great American city at the end of the Depression, readers will quickly fall under its spell of crisp writing, sparkling atmosphere and breathtaking revelations, as Towles evokes the ghosts of Fitzgerald, Capote, and McCarthy.

"Who killed Dr. Harvey Burdell?

Though there are no witnesses and no clues, fingers point to Emma Cunningham, the refined, pale-skinned widow who managed Burdell’s house and his servants. Rumored to be a black-hearted gold digger with designs on the doctor’s name and fortune, Emma is immediately put under house arrest during a murder investigation. A swift conviction is sure to catapult flamboyant district attorney Abraham Oakey Hall into the mayor’s seat. But one formidable obstacle stands in his way: the defense attorney Henry Clinton. Committed to justice and the law, Clinton will aid the vulnerable widow in her desperate fight to save herself from the gallows.

Set in 1857 New York, this gripping mystery is also a richly detailed excavation of a lost age. Horan vividly re-creates a tumultuous era characterized by a sensationalist press, aggressive new wealth, a booming real-estate market, corruption, racial conflict, economic inequality between men and women, and the erosion of the old codes of behavior. A tale of murder, sex, greed, and politics, this spellbinding narrative transports readers to a time that eerily echoes our own."

Butchery on Bond Street (source) Click Picture to enlarge

TEASER TUESDAYS is hosted by ShouldBeReading and asks you to:
♠Grab your current read.
♠Let the book fall open to a random page.
♠Share with us two (2) “teaser” sentences from that page.
♠You also need to share the title of the book that you’re getting your “teaser” from … that way people can have some great book recommendations if they like the teaser you’ve given!
♠Please avoid spoilers!

The Kingdom of Ohio by Matthew Flaming

"Abrupty she imagines a landscape of bridges melting away underfoot and buildings changing shape, whole cities unmaking themselves as their past is rewritten. The vision of a destroyed world, populated with orphans like herself, each tormented by doubt and struggling to find a home in the alien present." ~ page 202

The Invention of Everything Else by Samantha Hunt
Hardcover 2008, Paperback March 2009 Mariner Books
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Mariner Books; Reprint edition (March 2, 2009)
ISBN-13: 978-0547085777
Review copy from the publisher
The Burton Review Rating:

This January 7, 2010 marks the 67th anniversary of Nikola Tesla's death. Tesla (July 10, 1856 – January 7, 1943) is the focus of this novel by Samantha Hunt, and I wanted to post this review close to that date in celebration of the life of Nikola Tesla.

This is one of those books that had a product description online and on the back cover that gives too much away and still doesn't do it justice, so I shortened it here:
"From the moment Louisa first catches sight of the strange man who occupies a forbidden room on the thirty-third floor, she is determined to befriend him. Unbeknownst to Louisa, he is Nikola Tesla—inventor of AC electricity and wireless communication—and he is living out his last days at the Hotel New Yorker. Winning his attention through a shared love of pigeons, she eventually uncovers the story of Tesla’s life as a Serbian immigrant and a visionary genius: as a boy he built engines powered by June bugs, as a man he dreamed of pulling electricity from the sky."
('The Invention of Everything Else was short listed for the Orange Prize 2009)

Shunned by the now modern society that Nikola Tesla helped to bring to fruition, author Samantha Hunt brings us her imagined story of Nikola's last days that he had lived out at the Hotel New Yorker. Through Nikola's thoughts, the novel flashes back to Nikola's childhood, his brother, and to the point that he immigrates to America in 1884. This is a story that encompasses many themes, from love, tragedy and loss, to the power of thought and unlimited creativity.

The novel opens up to Tesla at the age of 86, and we get a feel for how the story is going to play out. The author uses flashbacks and multiple viewpoints to embrace the reader fully into the world of 1943, where hotel chambermaid Louisa meets and befriends Tesla just at a time that her father and family friend have decided to embark on a time travel experiment. Louisa is a simple character, and could have been more developed, but perhaps the character of Nikola Tesla simply eclipsed hers in this telling. I certainly felt like I knew more about Tesla from this book, and I was enthralled with the vivid imagery of New York City as the characters lived in it, along with the scenes on Long Island where Tesla had one of his last greatest experiments which failed miserably due to lack of funds and Tesla's fall from social graces.

Nikola Tesla is a Serbian-born immigrant who came to the USA to test his inventions and work with Thomas Edison. Edison promptly fails him, cheating Tesla out of a promised $50,000 (worth much more in today's terms) in exchange for Tesla making Edison's laboratory more efficient. This was a sad sign of things to come for Tesla, where money issues seemed to plague Tesla forever after this incident. Although J.P. Morgan did back Tesla's experiments for a time, once Morgan learned that the invention that Tesla wanted to accomplish was free wireless electricity for all, Morgan pulled his support. Morgan had achieved a sort of monopoly by that time by reaping the benefits of the electricity revenues and he had no intention of giving it away for free.

The novel does not focus on Edison or Morgan but they needed to be mentioned so that the readers understood the reason for Tesla's unsuccessful ventures. Tesla was successful with Westinghouse when they harnessed electricity using the power of the Niagara Falls, but this is also not covered very much except to say that Tesla tore up the contract where at that time was worth $12,000,000 in royalties. But Tesla did it for the greater good, for the power of electricity to survive and to keep Morgan from owning the company that Westinghouse and Tesla co-partnered. There were quite a few things that Tesla created, from X-Rays to the Tesla coil and robotics. There were murmurings of Tesla's insanity as he tried to harness the unknown from outer space, and thus he was immediately discredited as talking to Mars. The "Teslascope" was the invention in progress of Tesla's that he wanted to be his greatest yet, but in the world's eyes at the time of 1901 he was effectively becoming a quack. It was a secret experiment, and to this day is still a mystery to the modern man for what Tesla was trying to accomplish by communicating with Mars. The novel also touches on the Death Ray, also known as the peace beam, which Tesla seemingly wanted to use to end warfare, and that the F.B.I. were spying on him for this and other information. The USSR had paid Tesla $25,000 in 1939 after testing the first stage of the Death Ray.

Once I started this novel, I seriously could not put it down and I read the last 3/4 of the book in one sitting. A minor drawback is that this is not a long book and it had room for much more. It does not drag at all within the plot, as we leaped from the present to past and back again, but this was done in such a cohesive way that it enthralled me. I enjoyed the mentions of other people such as J.P. Morgan, George Westinghouse, Mark Twain and the conspiratorial F.B.I. When it was the eccentric Tesla's turn in the story there were times when he confused me; his thoughts were indeed very meandering and perhaps a bit tedious. I think it helped to show Tesla how he really may have been, and how he saw the inner mechanics of everything he came across. This book is an absolute must-read for those slightly interested in Tesla, who is the reason for the electricity currents we utilize today, and the added romance and intrigue make this a fabulous fictional account of a man who was misunderstood and mistreated. There is so much more to learn about and from Tesla, that this will not be my last book concerning him.

The mention of the old laboratory in Shoreham, Long Island, then the Wardenclyffe World Wireless Telecommunications Station to Tesla, intrigued me very much because I grew up on Long Island and never heard of the site and Tesla's wireless ambition that enveloped him here. In fact, I don't even recall learning anything at all about Tesla in my studies. Why was that? Why was Edison the one who was so celebrated because of a light bulb? And I just found this article from 12/18/2009 that a plaque on this old Tesla laboratory was stolen from its brick building and has been missing for two months now. What a tragedy it is that still, after we supposedly realize the contributions that Tesla had made, that he is still being mistreated in America. The Wardenclyffe site with a huge tower had to be sold by Tesla to pay his debts to the Waldorf hotel, and now stands empty and vandalized, and sadly, for sale. The owners will level it for the buyers if need be.

Another book that I recently read which mentions Tesla is The Kingdom of Ohio by Matthew Flaming. Although completely different stories in nature, the mechanical age is the common thread between these two novels and I recommend both of them for fans of Tesla. My review of The Kingdom of Ohio is completed, and can be found here.

The First Precious Moment I ever received was from My Dad, the one that is called Make a Joyful Noise, like the one shown below.

We interrupt normal Blog Programming in honor of a Special Day, for a Special Man. I'm sure you understand, but I just can't let this day go by as if it were like any other. Actually, I began blogging shortly after the saddest event of my life, as a sort of outlet and a chance to focus on something positive. In a round about way, this sad event comes back full circle to the blog.

This is a bittersweet day for me. I have my husband to be thankful for, as he is the loving father of my children, and a very supportive husband to me, but I will always feel a sense of loss on this day. It does not seem sufficient to simply call it a 'sense', as it is an utter profoundly real feeling of grief and sorrow. My father unexpectedly died the night before Thanksgiving, last year. So this is my first Father's Day ever without my Father. It was a heart attack, and there was nothing to be done. He was not old at 59, nor was he young. He was plagued by different ailments such as high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but no one expects the sudden shock of losing someone so dear to you, without being affected by this for the rest of one's life.

The disbelief and the sorrow are the first feelings I had when I got the news.. a moment that is forever burned into my soul that I wish I could seal away forever, complete with its feeling of continued punches to the gut.. That moment of unimaginable disappointment, the regret of not speaking with my dad that day, that complete desolation that still at six months later does not get any better when I selfishly think of all I and others have lost. But I have to think of the spirit of my father, and knowing that he is indeed happy where he is now, at peace, I have to share him with God. I have to come to terms with the reality that no, he will not see his grandchildren grow and prosper; he will not physically feel the hugs and kisses from those he left behind. I have to remind myself as the lump in my throat gets bigger and harder to manage, that my father is watching us now and loving us with all of his newfound strength. I tell myself that he must be watching from above as my daughter brings home her final First grade report card, and he is giving her angel kisses as he congratulates her on her straight A+'s.

I remember that growing up, I persevered in my schooling specifically for my father, for him that I admired so much; he was learned in all things and inspired my own quest for learning. He gave me his approval, he shared his love for words, both English and French, and would leave me inspiring notes in the morning before school addressed to "ma cherie" and other sentiments. He would sneak in a little extra mad money he called it, and he would come home from work with a little extra something he picked up along the way. I was always Daddy's Little Girl, and enjoyed holding his hand in the grocery store even when we both knew I was too old to do so. He would expect perfection, accept less, and love me either way. He gave me a sense of self, taught me to be stubborn, and instilled a desire to be better in all things. He seemed all-powerful, and I did not see him shed a tear until he lost his own father, when I was 12. I remember early one morning hearing him crying, and me asking him if he was okay. He did not mean to wake me, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. I did not know what to do to comfort him but to rub his back. Perhaps he is doing the same for me, now, as I cry for the loss of him. Another time he cried was when my first-born made her way into this crazy world, and I could feel his love and approval, and his rapture for the accomplishment that he knew was mine.

He once wrote to me, "No man can possibly know what life means, what the world means, what anything means, until he has a daughter and loves her. And then his whole life, his whole universe, changes and nothing will ever again seem exactly as it seemed before. And so it is with you." And so it is with you, too, Dad. He later wrote, "No matter how difficult life may seem at times, you have within you the love, the power, the ability, and the knowledge to make things better. You are special. I hope you know that though we will not always be together, I am always here to love you."

My dad was a great man, who dedicated himself to his career after he left the Air Force where he served during Vietnam. He stayed with the Suffolk County Police Department for 32 years, and reached the highest level of the Communications Department as Supervisor of Technical Services and Police Communications Systems Director. He was posthumously awarded with The Commissioner's Career Achievement Award. Congrats, Dad, you earned it!
"For over 32 years, Mr. Gardner was instrumental in developing and supporting
numerous improvements to the communication systems of the Police Department,
F.R.E.S., and other county agencies."

One of the poems that my father and I shared together and were in awe over together was by Dylan Thomas. Little did I know the significance of this poem until the moment he left this earth.
Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

love you Dad, forever and ever more. I will miss you always, but will persevere, for you. -- your little girl.

Dad, your love will last me an eternity, and I am fueled by your inner strength. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me, and making me want to be a better person.

I hope everyone out there enjoys this special day if they still have a father figure to honor, and uses it wisely!

"What is the Sunday Salon? Imagine some university library's vast reading room. It's filled with people--students and faculty and strangers who've wandered in. They're seated at great oaken desks, books piled all around them, and they're all feverishly reading and jotting notes in their leather-bound journals as they go. Later they'll mill around the open dictionaries and compare their thoughts on the afternoon's literary intake...."

AHHHHH.... it's a gloriously gorgeous and warm Sunday here in Sunny Texas, without a chance of rain which has been rare lately. A perfect day to sit outside and listen to the birds as you read your favorite book... or in my reality, a day to sit outside with the sun in my eyes and my 7 year old whining to go play with her friends elsewhere as the toddler throws sand in my face while I re-read the same paragraph for the umpteenth time because I can't concentrate. AHHHH

MAY 31st today! This day marks my step-daughter's 15th birthday. Happy Birthday to her! And coincidentally enough, this day also marks the 15th anniversary of me stepping on Texan soil and calling it home sweet home. It was just a few years later that I met the love of my life, and then brainwashed him into loving me back and later marrying me in Vegas, baby.. But he doesn't like me getting all personal in my blog posts so I'll stop here but I'll add a big I love you to the husband.. I am so glad that I made that decision to leave New York and make my life here. I have never regretted it and never will.

It is also Lenore's birthday at Presenting Lenore! Happy Birthday, Lenore!

As many of you know, this was the weekend for the Book Expo America Event in New York City. I wish I could have gone just to meet up with the other bloggers that have been lucky enough to attend. I cannot wait to read some of the blog posts about who everyone met there and what books they have received! Apparently the BEA will have its home in NYC for quite awhile, but if it ever gets out of NY and closer to Texas, I would love to go. I did participate some in the BEA Twitter Party on Friday night, and on June 2 BlogTalk Radio will broadcast their Book Bloggers Panel at BEA with Book Club Girl. Sarah at Reading the Past has already posted about her Day One, and she was picky with the books she chose to bring home with her. And I must say she picked some wonderful ones! I need to go put all those on my wish list that aren't there already!

There is also an article about Book Bloggers and the BEA called "BookExpo America 2009: Bloggers Draw a Crowd" at Publisher's Weekly. Here is a great quote from it: "With the huge number of books being published, book bloggers are becoming even important gatekeepers, increasing awareness for readers and building buzz. To that end, publishers and authors are working more closely than ever with them, and on new ways of promotion, such as blog tours."

In other news, a wonderful thing happened to me this week. A NEW BOOKCASE!! (That should be in rotating electric lights)..And maybe a little one on the way (a bookcase mind you!) for my bedroom. I want to put my Jean Plaidy's in that little one, I have about 52 of those so far, still looking for some of the harder to find ones. I need most of the Plantagenet era, and 3 of the Georgian era and just a few more scattered throughout Plaidy's different series.
I've moved around some books and I've got ORDER to the mayhem. Medieval on top shelf, Tudor Era on second, and French Revolution on the third, etc. I have a special bookshelf in my bedroom that has my favorite Wars of the Roses and Tudor Era books, which there are still many to read! The other bookcase for the general fiction and the shelf of ARC's to review.. And with my new addition, I have room to expand... yeppers, I've got some holes to fill now WEEEEE.... And I also wondered how I'd accumulated 3 different books on Marie Antoinette that I've yet to read... didn't know I was that interested!

This week I have read The Sitting Swing by Irene Watson. The review will post on June 8 as Irene stops by for a virtual book tour. Some of you may recognize Irene as the managing editor from Reader Views. The book has been revised from an earlier edition but is a touching story of how Irene survived a rough childhood and what she has done to come to terms with that. She shares her insights without preaching and offers hope to the rest of us. This is a very good read, I recommend it. Be sure to return June 8 during her tour, because I will have an author post and a book giveaway for you which is for an autographed copy!

I also finished The Indiscretions of The Queen, by Jean Plaidy, (review here) which was book #6 for the Jean Plaidy Reading Challenge hosted by the lovely ladies Arleigh and Lucy at Royal Intrigue. This book was the Jean Plaidy Reading Group pick for the month of May, for which we have a little forum where we can talk about the book. The pick for the coming month is Victoria Holt's (pseudonym) My Enemy The Queen. I have already read that one, and it is AWESOME for any of the Elizabeth I fans out there. IF I had some extra reading time and wasn't bogged down in ARC books I would be re-reading this one for the discussion. But I'll definitely still be there to discuss it, I really enjoyed the characters in this book. (Lettice Knollys, Penelope Deveraux, Robert Dudley..)

Off my beaten path, I am now reading The Osiris Alliance by Jack Ford. It is a crime novel that reads like a Law and Order episode, with a historical twist regarding the Charles Lindbergh Baby Kidnapping Case. It is a debut novel by Ford, who was a Emmy and Peabody award winning news anchor. If you like crime novels then this is a pick for you, although you can make little comments to pick the writing style apart, but I won't. It is still a good read despite small flaws. I'll probably have my review later this week, God willing!

A new author, Anna Elliott, has done a guest post on Backstory last Thursday. She is a really sweet person and I cannot wait to read her book, Twilight of Avalon, which centers around Arthurian lore. Her second novel Dark Moon of Avalon is in the copy editing process now! Anna's website is here.

***AWARD TIME!**

I have gotten a few more blog awards lately, such as the Lemonade Award, The Kreative Blogger Award, The Literary Blogger Award... Check out my sidebar for links to who awarded them to me. I really appreciate you thinking of me and mentioning me in your award posts, it does mean a lot to me.

The Kreative Blogger Award is one that has not been three-peated throughout the blogosphere so I've picked that one to go ahead and redistribute. I know that are so many of these things it gets a bit cumbersome, although everyone loves the recognition! So today I am going to pass along the Kreative Blogger Award. Thanks to Melissa at Melissa's Bookshelf for thinking of me!

Rules:
Post 7 things you love.
Give award to 7 other bloggers who are creative.

Here are seven things I love:
My little Texan family!
My Blog Buddies
My books
The Texas Sky
A cup of tea
A slow day at work
Italian cannolis

I am awarding:
Sheri at A Novel Menagerie
Susie at All Things Royal
Amy at Passages to the Past
Teddyrose at So Many Precious Books, So Little Time
Claire at The Anne Boleyn Files
Dolleygurl at The Maiden's Court
Virginie at Virginie Says...

**Congrats to these wonderful blogger ladies!!**

**GIVEAWAY WINNERS**

The giveaway for Wild Highland Magic ended last night. I had a winner for an Advance Reader's copy, and a winner from the publisher Sourcebooks for the released version.

The ARC Winner is: HeatherZilla

The New Released winner is: Marie Lay

Congratulations!

And ONE more thing... tomorrow, June 1st begins a new reading challenge.. see my post about it here... I would love for you to join us! It is The Four Month Challenge, and pretty simple to participate :) Jean Plaidy is even mentioned!! Hope to see you there! Have a great day! (I feel like I just wrote a book!)

hee hee That pic really belongs on Last Week's Post, but here it is now anyway! Sometimes this is really reflective of my mood.

Picture = 1/10/2009 12:14 p.m.

Back when Texas had it's ice storm a few weeks ago I tried capturing pic on my cell phone. The ice on the branches was so very pretty that I really wanted a picture of it. I had taken it from inside my office and you see the glare a bit from a window ;) It is not a great picture but I had forgotten I had sent it via email to the blog on my cell phone. As I mentioned before, isn't technology awesome? Too bad the clarity leaves a lot to be desired though.

Otherwise, here it is, another Friday to conquer. It is beautiful Texas weather. Yesterday was my now 7 yr. old's birthday, and it was 80°. Today it shall again top out at 79°. I am so thrilled that it is January, and I get to enjoy this type of weather. God Blessed Texas!

I grew up in N.Y. with cold winters and a lot of snow, and it wasn't bad to be a young one playing in that snow. But, I got older and had responsibilities and places to be. It was the winter of '93, and the snow just kept coming and coming. I parked my car down the block so it wouldn't get plowed in, and I still had to dig it out. I was so sick of it, slipping and sliding down Nesconset Highway because they would not close the Smithaven Mall where I worked. I decided right then and there that this was the LAST winter I would spend in NY!! I was 20 and living with my dad, and just didn't have a real goal anymore. I was not happy with my situation so that Christmas Day of '93 I called my mum in TX and asked if I could move down to TX with her. She seemed thrilled (in hindsight she is probably kicking herself) and the deal was done. With the help of my boyfriend, I started packing my belongings and for 5 months we UPS'ed stuff to TX.

My pops didn't believe me when I told him. He was still dumbstruck on May 31, 1994 as I was gathering the cat to come with me, and I was getting a ride to airport. Me, my cat named Stryper after the band, and my backpack. It was a major decision, leaving friends and a boyfriend behind, and my father and brother of course. I have no regrets to the move itself, just wish that perhaps the distance wasn't so great. The biggest loss was my best friend, who is still my friend, but I had taken her presence and support for granted. I missed her every day.

Time passed and I let things go.. I let people seem out of sight, out of mind. That was my fault, and I am working on rebuilding those relationships that I lost that I care about. As much as I have wished a lot of my past in NY would stay in the darkness, there are people that I'd like to stay here with me in the light.